Once upon a time, I was an EMT. For those of you not in the know, an EMT is an Emergency Medical Technician. EMTs, along with EMT-P’s or Paramedics, are on the front lines of emergency medical care. It’s an EMT or EMT-P that answers that “I’ve fallen and can’t get up call.” It’s the EMT or EMT-P that you see pulling unfortunate victims out of a pile of tangled metal on the freeway. And it’s a life I wish I had never left.

When I was young, I never said “I want to be an EMT when I grow up.” I did say I wanted to be a veterinarian, or a fire fighter. As I got older, I realized that I could never be a vet. My business would go broke trying to save the animals past saving, or the beloved pets of those unable to pay, or my house would grow full to the rafters with the abandoned or abused pets that came into my care. You don’t give a crack addict crack — you don’t give an animal addict animals. Simple as that.

The idea then to be a fire fighter grew for a while in my mind, until I decided that while running into a smoky building might be an adrenaline rush, it wasn’t truly something I really wanted to do.

For a long time I floated from job to job, finding enjoyment in almost all of them, but never any true happiness. That was when I met Rick. Coming out of an abusive relationship, I had no desire to get back into another relationship quite so soon, but when a woman in a uniform approached me one day at the store I was a customer service rep in and said, “That guy over there wants to know if you’re married, and he’s had a crush on you for a year,” I about fell over in shock.

A year?! After three years of being hit and talked down to and generally made to feel like I was worthless, some guy actually thought I was nice enough and attractive enough to have been infatuated with me for a year?! To say I was flattered, and stunned, was an understatement.

Still, Mr. Crush, a handsome guy who was very tall, had a very deep voice, and a strong jaw that made you want to just nibble on it for hours, didn’t come to talk to me that night. I was confused, but still floating on a cloud when I left work.

A few days later I saw him and the girl again, along with a couple of other folks, all in the same uniform. I didn’t know why they wore the uniforms or what they did, but I wouldn’t have to wait long to find out. Finishing up my shift, I clocked out and left the store. Walking across a very dark parking lot, I got the distinct feeling I was being followed. Instead of turning around, I just made a beeline for my car. That was when I first heard his voice. “Hi there.”

Finally turning around, I found he was as attractive up close as he was from a distance, and his voice was just to die for. We talked for a few minutes and that’s when I found out he was an EMT. I had always been under the impression that firefighters were the ones in the ambulances, but was quickly educated on how that is not always true and the department he worked for had separate firefighter and EMT teams, though people could get certified to volunteer for both.

Our talk was cut short when his pager went off and a very loud voice informed him and his crew of a call they had to rush off to. With a promise to see me again soon, he was gone. As I watched the ambulance pull from the parking lot, I was certain of two things:

1. I was in a definite state of lust.
2. I was in love with the uniforms, lights, and sirens of the ambulance.

Our relationship started off wonderfully and as I asked more questions about being an EMT and was able to visit with and ride along once with the crew, Rick finally convinced me to take the training course. I had made quite a few EMT, firefighter, and police friends while dating him, and the heads of this volunteer department were excited that I was willing, and even eager, to give it a shot. In addition, the department would pay for it and sponsor me.

In my first class, I knew emergency medicine was for me.

I graduated from the class with flying colors and started on my volunteer career as an EMT. It was the first time in my life I had ever truly felt fulfilled in anything I had ever done. I was a natural at it: compassionate, yet not so caught up in my patients that I took it home with me; adept at improvising; a quick study at learning new techniques, and truly driven in my job to be the best.

I knew then this was the life I wanted, a career in emergency medicine. This was seventeen years ago, when I was nineteen. Wanting so badly to make a living in the medical field, I left my customer service job and went to work as a nurse aide at a nursing home. The job wasn’t overly terrible, as a majority of the residents were sweet as pie, but it wasn’t emergency work–it was changing sheets, giving baths, serving dinners, bringing water and generally being an underpaid, overworked go-fer.

Every day I looked through the newspapers for something I could do with my EMT certification. Finally I spotted an ad for a medical transport company. This was a great job and I really enjoyed it, but it was more straightforward transport of patients from their homes or nursing facilities to hospitals and doctors’ offices for medical appointments. I thoroughly enjoyed it, though, since most of our transports were regulars and we got to know them on a more personal level.

After being with the company for a little over a year, a position opened up on their 7pm to 7am shift. The shift consisted of two EMTs, two paramedics, and the dispatcher. I jumped at the chance to take this position! Not only would it serve me well, as I was (and still am) a dyed-in-the-wool night owl, but the overnight shift dealt mainly with emergencies for the nursing homes we contracted with. This meant real, honest emergency care.

I got a lot of experience in that job. Many many times of performing CPR, assisting the paramedics, losing patients, saving them, lots of broken bones, plenty of respiratory issues, and the list goes on. I truly felt I had found my calling, but inside of me, something felt like it was missing.

After a few months on the night shift, I got a new partner, Brian. Brian was probably the most gorgeous blond-haired, blue-eyed guy a girl could have ever laid eyes on. He only had eyes for one of the girls on the swing shift, though, and I was dating someone at the time, so he and I just became friends, great friends. I still miss him to this day.

Well Brian was unlike my previous partner, he liked to stay awake on slow nights and actually go out and do stuff–like hang around the ER of the Trauma III hospital in the city we worked in. Can you say heaven? Okay, maybe that’s a really bad analogy for an ER, but still, I felt like I was home.

Oh sure, I had been in ERs many many times between my transports and emergencies with the ambulance company, and time with the volunteer squad, but we were always in, giving the report and patient to the staff, cleaning our equipment, then out again. It wasn’t until my partnership with Brian that I really got to spend time in an ER and see how things were done. It wasn’t until then that I knew that my life had one of two directions to go for true fulfillment for me–either as a paramedic, or as an ER nurse.

Unfortunately, time and circumstance have a way of drawing some people away from their dreams, and that’s what happened to me.

– Stay tuned for part II –